I’ve been M.I.A. for about a month, but for GOOD reason! If you follow me on my Instagram you probably already know some of my story, but here’s the FULL version. Enjoy!
- You experience isolation. There may be others around, but you’ll notice a type of separation that may show up socially or geographically. Do you feel hidden? Do you feel like you’ve been transplanted from one place and dropped into another? You just might be in the desert.
- You’ll be uncomfortable. As uneasy as you may feel in this season, there will be a feeling you have deep within you that tells you to stay put and push through the discomfort. You are CALLED into the wilderness when Our Heavenly Father deems you ready. People don’t causally walk into the wilderness willingly.#wheredeydodat
- You’ll experience accelerated growth. When Our Heavenly Father calls you to the wilderness, He does so in a way that caters to the expedited development He’s already purposed to manifest through you. What would have normally taken you 10-20 years to accomplish will happen in 5-7 years.
- The majority of the time, you won’t recognize your desert experience from the onset. He reveals your location midway through your journey. Otherwise, you probably wouldn’t willingly proceed to take the initial steps of faith to activate this season of your life.
- You’ll encounter many opportunities to address parts of yourself and areas of yourself you thought you overcame in previous seasons. Since your desert experience is a place to HEAL, there will be plenty of times when the mirror is put in front of you to choose life or death. My suggestion-look closely at what He’s showing you about yourself and partner with Him to bring about your healing. If He asks you to remove the scab, do it. I promise He’ll make it better.
Hopefully these 5 tips helped you get started in identifying if you’re in a wilderness season. For more context on Jesus’ wilderness experience, check out Matthew 4.
Has God ever told you to do 1 thing and it appears another is happening? Have you ever expected things to turn out a certain way according to how He was leading you, but then you noticed a few flags in the play?
I like to refer to these moments as “divine disruptions.” You know, they appear to be interruptions in your life, but all along they are divine collisions that your Abba Father designed for you?
I’ve been there before. So Tasha what do I do? The short and sweet of it is: you lean into it and you listen.
Don’t misunderstand me now. There’s a difference between the enemy disrupting your life and Our Heavenly Father “disrupting” your life. One requires a spiritual battle that you’ve already been given victory in & the other requires a leaning in on your part. I’m referencing the latter.
Let’s take a look at Mary, Jesus’ mama. Mary had her life planned out. She was a devout worshipper of God & she lived her life righteously. She was a virgin who was engaged to Joseph, a Godly man. I imagine she thought, I’m doing pretty good! I’m saving myself for marriage, I read my Word, I help my family. After Joseph & I get married we’ll have kids, he’ll work & I’ll take care of the household, ect.
Then one day Mary gets a visit from the angel of the Lord and it appears that God is “disrupting” her “smooth” life plans & instead He’s chosen her to be the carrier of the Savior of the world!!??
Do you see how quickly He can turn the tide of things?? In this moment Mary could have gotten frustrated & discouraged because she didn’t expect her life to go in this direction, but Mary was submitted to God & her “yes” caused her to be “blessed over ALL other women” Luke 1:42.
If this is currently you, here’s what I’ve learned:
1. Be open to Our Heavenly Father having His way with you. If you are submitted to Him, it can ONLY lead to a good place. Remember, He’s your LOVING Father.
2. Lean into the “disruption.” Ask Him for His divine perspective so that you are able to make the most of where He has you. You never know what goodies He has planned for you on what seems to be a detour.
3. Remain close to Him. Communication is KEY when you are faith walking! Its crucial that you are able to hear “in the moment” (rhema Word) so you receive clear strategy on how to move.
This few tips should get you started! Want more tips? Comment below and let me know. I’ll hop on my IG stories or on a live & we can chat it up.
Happy Sunday LHD Tribe!
Name– Ivette Paulina
1. How long have you been enjoying your single season?
I’ve been single for a couple of years.
2. What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned about yourself during your single season?
After coming out of a rocky relationship of almost 10 years, the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that I wasn’t loving myself and had a lot of recovery to go through in my spirit, soul and body.
3. What do you like to do for fun?
I like to read, go on runs at the park with my doggy, Bambam, spend time with friends and family, organize/declutter and karaoke.
4. Do you have a desire for marriage?
Marriage is definitely in the vision and plans I would like to be blessed with in my life.
5. When the enemy tries to make you view your single season as a negative thing, what do you do?
Before, whenever I was feeling negative emotions or thinking negative thoughts/lies, my main reactions or habits were to find comfort in my ex-boyfriend and food and because of this my whole being/life got out of whack and I gained 67 pounds .
Now, through God’s guidance, wisdom and strength He has been teaching me how to find comfort only in Him and to practice more effective habits in replacement of the less effective ones.
When the enemy tries to discourage me during this single season, I do several things that help me:
- Tell God I love Him, thank Him for anything I can think of at that moment, talk with Him and share with Him how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking, be open and listen to what He has to say ♥️
- Rebuke those thoughts, cast them out, pray to God, ask the Holy Spirit to fill in those spots where negativity and lies were cast out from, I declare truth over myself and plead the blood of Jesus over my body, soul (mind, will and emotions), and spirit. ⚔️
- Forgive myself, forgive others🤝
- Pray for others
- Help someone, connect with someone or do something kind for someone even if it’s just a small thing like hugging tight and for a little longer, making eye contact a little longer, smiling at those who pass me by while walking somewhere a little longer, listening to others a little longer, taking out the trash for someone at work, letting people cut in front while driving, taking a picture of something beautiful/positive and sending it to someone telling them why it reminded me of them, write words of encouragement and truths on sticky notes and post them randomly in the restrooms or wherever someone may find it, clean up something that isn’t my job and make the world a bit more beautiful, speak life over someone, comment positive things/support/encouragement on someone’s Instagram post, etc.
- Go out in nature and walk/run
- Listen to worship music, songs with positive lyrics, classical music, podcasts, audiobooks, sermons, The Word 🔊
- Call/text family and friends to see how they’re doing or to encourage them
- Drink water or make myself a hot tea or lemonade 🥤️
- Create artwork
- Plan and write down my goals to attain the vision God has placed in me, rewrite His God-given purpose and mission for my life so that I can re-focus on why I’m on this earth
- Read a book
- Watch a good movie alone or with friends/family
- Sing, hum, dance
- Join a class/group/community
- Go to church
- Try something new
- Be brave
- Be vulnerable, be real and share with someone🤯♥️
- Be me
6. What’s your favorite thing about being single?
My favorite thing about being single is being free to do everything I just listed above whenever I want and for as long as I want or need to. It’s so awesome! I thank God for this season! It’s been much needed for healing, growth, learning, lots of learning, recovery, reclaiming, restoring, renewing and rededicating my life to Him Praise God!
7. What advice would you give someone who is struggling to see the beauty in their single season?
I would say to you… I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can’t tell you why you’re going through this but what I can tell you is that God knows and if you are going through pain, loss, sadness, loneliness, heartbreak, betrayal, depression, suicidal thoughts, with no sense of purpose, lost, confusion, brokenness, and/or anger, pride, shame, guilt, unforgiveness, weakness, hard-heartedness, bitterness, resentment, embarrassment, lack, poverty, in whichever area of your life, know this… There is hope. There is hope through the Lord Jesus Christ. I can tell you that through Christ I was redeemed and saved through all of that. A few years ago, I felt all of those things (everything I just mentioned above) all at once for days, months, years. He’s so good. So good because He saved me, healed me, and is restoring me and transforming every day and He can and will do the same for you. Yes, He can and will do the same for you. Are you ready to surrender it all to Him? Are you ready to leave all the junk that is weighing you down? I know I was and every day I’m still ready to and I’m thinking you are too. If you are, then let me share with you a little exercise that I like to do whenever I’m feeling weighed down by something. But first, if you would like to make Jesus your Lord and Savior, pray this prayer:
Jesus, I am a sinner in need of you and your forgiveness. I believe you died for my sins and rose again from the dead. I believe you are the Son of God and that through you all things are made new, including me. I’m ready to receive you into my heart. Come live in me and sit at the throne of my heart, please. I surrender my all to You. Save me. Jesus, forgive me of my sins. I declare, accept, believe and receive you as Lord and Savior of my life. I place my trust in you from now on. Please fill me with your Holy Spirit as I give you complete control of my life. Thank you Jesus, for this free gift of eternal life. I love you! I pray this in Jesus name, Amen.
If you prayed the prayer above, that is so awesome! Congratulations! For you have been made new through Christ. You are a new creation and have been born again, that means today’s date is super important and I would suggest you write it down and remember it as your second birthdate 🤩🥳 Actually, it says in the Bible that angels are rejoicing and throwing a party right now because you accepted Lord Jesus Christ into your heart and into your life. So I’m celebrating too as I type this believing that you would be praying this prayer right now as you are reading Ms. Queen Tasha’s blog post 🤩 Your new identity in Christ is as a Child of God. You are now a Child of God and let me tell you, that means you’re considered royalty in God’s kingdom and here on earth too. Your home address has been changed to Heaven. Earth is just your momentarily address for now Just imagine you’ve gained an invisible crown yup. Since before you were born and before you were in your mother’s womb, God knew you and assigned to you a God-given purpose. There’s a good plan for you like He says in His word, Jeremiah 29:10-13, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.”
Because of this, it’s even more significant for us to live free and live purposefully and accept the abundant life He came to give us. This exercise I’m about to share is one of the visual exercises that helps me regain focus on Him and the life He wants for me, hope it can help you too.
Whenever I feel or think a certain way that I notice causes me pain and hurt and anger, I close my eyes and imagine or envision Him hanging on the cross.
If you would like, let’s do this together. Close your eyes with me anytime in these instructions. Imagine Him on the cross, be mindful that He did that for you and I so that we may be free, free to have a relationship with God for whoever chooses to believe that He did die for us and rose again and is now sitting on the right-hand side of God in Heaven, for us to live an abundant life like He says in John 10:10 that,
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” -Jesus
So, are you living an abundant life? If not, what’s causing you to not have an abundant life? What thoughts, feelings, hurts, addictions, hang-ups, habits, choices, are preventing you from living this life?
Think about it and reflect on them as you continue to keep your eyes closed seeing Jesus on the cross. As you are identifying what they are, begin envisioning these hurts, past mistakes, hang-ups, sins, feeling, thoughts, choices on the cross, on His body. You can do this whichever way that they naturally come up in your mind. For example, for me they can come up as one word or images and I just see them on His body.
Once you see them on Jesus and/or the cross, see His health, His being come on you. Receive it all. For example, if I’m envisioning the word addiction on His body, I imagine the word recovery coming out of Him and coming into me. If I’m envisioning the word unforgiveness, I imagine the word forgiveness and the feeling of forgiveness and the vision of the scene of where I am forgiving the person I am wanting to forgive, coming out of Him and into me. Leaving it all at the cross where He bled and died for us. Once you’ve imagined everything that you want to leave on the cross and give to Jesus to control and handle and have seen yourself receive the positive replacement of each thing that Jesus offers us, thank Him for everything you have received and accepted from Him. Thank Him that He is handling everything that you’ve left on that cross and what was once His broken but Holy body.
I pray this visualization helps you because it amazingly helps me. I do this exercise whenever I feel I need to like when the lies of the enemy are roaming around in my mind loudly or as soon as I realize I’m feeling a certain way and that it’s affecting my mood or my attitude toward myself and/or others or my day. It really can be used at any time we want to surrender control to God of a situation, thought, emotion, person, etc.
Know that in this season of singleness, You are so loved. Loved by an amazing Heavenly Father who has a plan and purpose for you and your life. There is something precious that He wants to accomplish only through you and your life. Trust Him and have faith that His will shall come to pass as you walk by faith and not by sight.
8. What is the most important thing you have learned from or about God during your season of singleness?
I have been learning so many things but the most important thing I have learned from God during my season of singleness is what my God-given purpose is. He showed me what my mission and purpose is here on earth and how to go about it. I’m so very grateful for that.
Many queens and kings are out here secretly counting the years of “their wait.” You’ve heard it before- “I’ve been single for 9 years,” “I’ve been single for 5 months,” “I’ve been single for a year.” Devon Franklin even has a book titled, “The Wait.” There’s another one out there titled, “Lady in Waiting.” -(which is pretty good might I add..lol)
Somehow in Christian singles circles today, the period of time leading up to the day you get married has been coined, “the wait.” Don’t get me wrong- I understand what is trying to be explained with the term, however, Our Heavenly Father dropped this gem into my spirit this morning. “What if “the wait” as many define it really ISN’T a wait at all? What if what we know as “the wait” is actually a period of “Reconstruction?” What if it’s actually a period of “Prayer Training?” What if it’s actually a period of “Learning to Be Present With Your Family? What if it’s a period of “Get Yo Money Right?” What if it’s a period of “Love Yourself Deeply?”
Is this beginning to make sense? All this time we have slapped a label on ALL of the years leading up to marriage as “The Wait.” What a sad generalization. Where is this rooted in scripture?
All the while, what if Our Heavenly Father has said you weren’t waiting for ANYTHING all of this time? What if this entire season He has defined this window of time in your life as “Purpose Revealing?”
Isn’t that crazy!? It’s wild how we humans are sooo quick to label and define things simply for the sake of us being able to understand or “cope” with what is not going the way we anticipated. Who are we to trump Our loving Father’s periods of opportunity that He’s given us and slap the label of our choice on it?
Listen, if you don’t get anything else from this post today, get THIS: If you are a single person (It doesn’t matter if you are in a relationship. If you are unmarried, you are single. Ask Our Heavenly Father to share the definition of this period in your life.)
What a shame it would be for you to be waiting in the lobby of the doctor’s office when you never had an appointment to begin with! Smh… Are you waiting in the lobby of your life for a spouse to appear? Chiillee, if Daddy God never gave you an appointment for your man, your “waiting” is in vain. You need to ask Him what this period of your life is called so you can get to stewarding it properly.
Perspective changes EVERYTHING.
I would absolutely LOVE to hear your thoughts on this one!
Brrriinnnngg! Class is now in session!
If you’ve been walking with Our Heavenly Father for any length of time, you already know—–when He calls you out to walk on that water, you need to “gets ta’ steppin” with the quickness!
Will you be ready to make the move He’s calling you to make? Probably not. I can’t recall a time when I was actually “ready” to faith walk. Will you be capable of making the move though? Absolutely! 1 John 4:4 says, “…..greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.”
Here are a few tips that I’ve used to help me leap, jump, sprint, & lunge when He “calls me out upon the waters”…#oceans.. #songreference..lol
- Don’t try to “feel” ready.-Let’s face the facts-if you could do it in your OWN strength, you wouldn’t need Him. Do you really think He’s going to let that happen? #nahhhhh He designed us to be dependent on Him, so don’t wait until you “feel” ready to leap. 2 Corinthians 12:9-11 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My (God’s) power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
- Let go of “your” plans.– Many times we don’t leap when He tells us because we have our own plans of how things should unfold and when life looks the contrary, we begin to think maybe we should wait for life to look the way “we” want it to before we leap. Like the movie Frozen tells us…”Let it go, let it go…”
- Disown fear & pick up courage.– Fear will try to knock you out every chance it gets. IJS. You betta’ not get caught slippin! Here’s a thought, meditate on this instead- 2 Timothy 1:7-“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Fear is NOT a part of your DNA.
- Trust Him!– How do you do that sis? The easiest way, is to take a walk down memory lane. Recount ALL the other times King Jesus came through in the clutch for you! #howboutdat
- Feel the love.– The only way you will feel confident leaping, is if you know you are loved. Am I right or what? Love propels us to do some amazing things! Love will have a mother dart in a burning building, snatch her kids out, and come out unscathed! #beastmode Meditate on scriptures that show you how much your Abba Father loves you. He will never lead you into harms way! Zephaniah 3:17, “The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by His love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” AND Jeremiah 29:11- “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” AND Zechariah 2:8 “For thus said the Lord of hosts, after his glory sent me[a] to the nations who plundered you, for he who touches you touches the apple of his eye.”
This will get ya started much? You got this, & He’s got YOU! LEAP already! I’d love to hear some of your tips in the comments. Let’s grow this list & continue making faith moves!
- Develop an INTIMATE & AUTHENTIC relationship with God. This is the most FREE, UNINTERRUPTED TIME you’ll ever have in your life if you desire marriage. Take advantage of this time to really get to know Him and develop history (click here for last post) with Him. The PERSONAL relationship you have with Him will change the game for your marriage and beyond! Learn to hear His voice clearly (click here and I can help you with that), learn how to pray down walls, practice walking by faith, practice being a doer of the Word and not just a hearer, grow in your knowledge of the Word, learn your God-given identity and how to walk powerfully in it, learn how to discern, & learn how to serve others. The list is practically ENDLESS. In other words, #levelup in your faith walk boo!
- Get to know yourself. This starts with learning your God-given identity. Beyond that, many people think they know who they are until they are forced to spend time alone. What do you like? What triggers you? What brings you joy? What are your passions? What ‘s your favorite food? How do you like to dress? What music lights you up? What’s your idea of a “perfect day?” Just take time to learn YOU.
- Heal. TAKE YOUR TIME. What’s the rush? Rushed healing always leads to a new and worse injury. I know you don’t want to think about the past, but you need to go there at least once to observe what happened, the root of why it happened, and how you can course correct and choose a new direction so you don’t repeat the same things again. Don’t let your pain go in vain. Let your pain have a purpose, and guess what?? YOU get to define that! What did you learn from that experience? It doesn’t have to hurt you anymore.
- Uncover your purpose. You have so much time to learn and develop your unique giftings, talents, and abilities during this time. You don’t owe anyone time, but your Heavenly Father. He has a purpose for you outside of your marriage. Many times, you walking in your purpose will be the thing that unites you and your spouse that hasn’t arrived yet. This is the time for you to devote yourself more fully to God’s work. In 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 Paul says, “An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided”
- Get yo’ money right! What better time to learn financial literacy than when you are the only one managing your finances? Learn about investments, budgeting, tithing, and overall how to be a good steward over your money. You don’t want to enter into a marriage in debt or begin to use TWO incomes recklessly.
- Dream! What did that little kid in you want to do before your “God imaginations” were shattered by the world? Take time and just dream up your hearts desires and then pray into them. How fun is it to let your imagination run wild?
- Serve. Serving is a HUGE component of marriage, so why not start practicing now? Serve your family, friends, and home church. There are people who need you in this season. Remember once you are married, your free time will look a bit different because different seasons call for different roles. Enjoy your current portion.
- HAVE FUN! Create a bucket list of ALL the things you want to do and go after them! Don’t put any limits on it. What makes you come alive? What have you ALWAYS wanted to do?
- Keep hope alive! If you have a desire for marriage, trust that Our Heavenly Father has placed it in you and is bringing you the desires of your heart in His perfect timing!
Feel free to drop your tips below! Why not share the wealth..lol.