Wisdom For Singles: Spotlight-Ivette

Name– Ivette Paulina

1. How long have you been enjoying your single season? 

I’ve been single for a couple of years.

2. What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned about yourself during your single season?

After coming out of a rocky relationship of almost 10 years, the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that I wasn’t loving myself and had a lot of recovery to go through in my spirit, soul and body.

3. What do you like to do for fun?

I like to read, go on runs at the park with my doggy, Bambam, spend time with friends and family, organize/declutter and karaoke.  

4. Do you have a desire for marriage?

Marriage is definitely in the vision and plans I would like to be blessed with in my life. 

5. When the enemy tries to make you view your single season as a negative thing, what do you do?

Before, whenever I was feeling negative emotions or thinking negative thoughts/lies, my main reactions or habits were to find comfort in my ex-boyfriend and food and because of this my whole being/life got out of whack and I gained 67 pounds  .

Now, through God’s guidance, wisdom and strength He has been teaching me how to find comfort only in Him and to practice more effective habits in replacement of the less effective ones.

When the enemy tries to discourage me during this single season, I do several things that help me:

1. Tell God I love Him, thank Him for anything I can think of at that moment, talk with Him and share with Him how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking, be open and listen to what He has to say ♥️
2. Rebuke those thoughts, cast them out, pray to God, ask the Holy Spirit to fill in those spots where negativity and lies were cast out from, I declare truth over myself and plead the blood of Jesus over my body, soul (mind, will and emotions), and spirit.  ⚔️
3. Forgive myself, forgive others🤝
4. Pray for others
5. Help someone, connect with someone or do something kind for someone even if it’s just a small thing like hugging tight and for a little longer, making eye contact a little longer, smiling at those who pass me by while walking somewhere a little longer, listening to others a little longer, taking out the trash for someone at work, letting people cut in front while driving, taking a picture of something beautiful/positive and sending it to someone telling them why it reminded me of them, write words of encouragement and truths on sticky notes and post them randomly in the restrooms or wherever someone may find it, clean up something that isn’t my job and make the world a bit more beautiful, speak life over someone, comment positive things/support/encouragement on someone’s Instagram post, etc. 
6. Go out in nature and walk/run
7. Listen to worship music, songs with positive lyrics, classical music, podcasts, audiobooks, sermons, The Word 🔊
8. Call/text family and friends to see how they’re doing or to encourage them
9. Drink water or make myself a hot tea or lemonade 🥤️
10. Create artwork
11. Plan and write down my goals to attain the vision God has placed in me, rewrite His God-given purpose and mission for my life so that I can re-focus on why I’m on this earth
12. Read a book
13. Watch a good movie alone or with friends/family
14. Sing, hum, dance
15. Join a class/group/community
16. Go to church
17. Try something new
18. Be brave
19. Be vulnerable, be real and share with someone🤯♥️
20. Be me

6. What’s your favorite thing about being single?

My favorite thing about being single is being free to do everything I just listed above whenever I want and for as long as I want or need to. It’s so awesome!  I thank God for this season!  It’s been much needed for healing, growth, learning, lots of learning, recovery, reclaiming, restoring, renewing and rededicating my life to Him Praise God!

7. What advice would you give someone who is struggling to see the beauty in their single season?

I would say to you… I’m sorry you’re going through this.  I can’t tell you why you’re going through this but what I can tell you is that God knows and if you are going through pain, loss, sadness, loneliness, heartbreak, betrayal, depression, suicidal thoughts, with no sense of purpose, lost, confusion, brokenness, and/or anger, pride, shame, guilt, unforgiveness, weakness, hard-heartedness, bitterness, resentment, embarrassment, lack, poverty, in whichever area of your life, know this… There is hope.  There is hope through the Lord Jesus Christ.  I can tell you that through Christ I was redeemed and saved through all of that.  A few years ago, I felt all of those things (everything I just mentioned above) all at once for days, months, years.  He’s so good.  So good because He saved me, healed me, and is restoring me and transforming every day and He can and will do the same for you.  Yes, He can and will do the same for you.  Are you ready to surrender it all to Him?  Are you ready to leave all the junk that is weighing you down?  I know I was and every day I’m still ready to and I’m thinking you are too.  If you are, then let me share with you a little exercise that I like to do whenever I’m feeling weighed down by something.  But first, if you would like to make Jesus your Lord and Savior, pray this prayer:

Jesus, I am a sinner in need of you and your forgiveness.  I believe you died for my sins and rose again from the dead.  I believe you are the Son of God and that through you all things are made new, including me.  I’m ready to receive you into my heart.  Come live in me and sit at the throne of my heart, please.  I surrender my all to You.  Save me.  Jesus, forgive me of my sins.  I declare, accept, believe and receive you as Lord and Savior of my life.  I place my trust in you from now on.  Please fill me with your Holy Spirit as I give you complete control of my life. Thank you Jesus, for this free gift of eternal life.  I love you!   I pray this in Jesus name, Amen.

If you prayed the prayer above, that is so awesome!  Congratulations!  For you have been made new through Christ.  You are a new creation and have been born again, that means today’s date is super important and I would suggest you write it down and remember it as your second birthdate 🤩🥳 Actually, it says in the Bible that angels are rejoicing and throwing a party right now because you accepted Lord Jesus Christ into your heart and into your life. So I’m celebrating too as I type this believing that you would be praying this prayer right now as you are reading Ms. Queen Tasha’s blog post 🤩 Your new identity in Christ is as a Child of God. You are now a Child of God and let me tell you, that means you’re considered royalty in God’s kingdom and here on earth too.  Your home address has been changed to Heaven.  Earth is just your momentarily address for now Just imagine you’ve gained an invisible crown  yup. Since before you were born and before you were in your mother’s womb, God knew you and assigned to you a God-given purpose.  There’s a good plan for you like He says in His word, Jeremiah 29:10-13, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” 

Because of this, it’s even more significant for us to live free and live purposefully and accept the abundant life He came to give us.  This exercise I’m about to share is one of the visual exercises that helps me regain focus on Him and the life He wants for me, hope it can help you too. 

Whenever I feel or think a certain way that I notice causes me pain and hurt and anger, I close my eyes and imagine or envision Him hanging on the cross.

If you would like, let’s do this together.  Close your eyes with me anytime in these instructions.  Imagine Him on the cross, be mindful that He did that for you and I so that we may be free, free to have a relationship with God for whoever chooses to believe that He did die for us and rose again and is now sitting on the right-hand side of God in Heaven, for us to live an abundant life like He says in John 10:10 that, 

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” -Jesus 

So, are you living an abundant life?  If not, what’s causing you to not have an abundant life?  What thoughts, feelings, hurts, addictions, hang-ups, habits, choices, are preventing you from living this life? 

Think about it and reflect on them as you continue to keep your eyes closed seeing Jesus on the cross.  As you are identifying what they are, begin envisioning these hurts, past mistakes, hang-ups, sins, feeling, thoughts, choices on the cross, on His body.  You can do this whichever way that they naturally come up in your mind.  For example, for me they can come up as one word or images and I just see them on His body. 

Once you see them on Jesus and/or the cross, see His health, His being come on you.  Receive it all.  For example, if I’m envisioning the word addiction on His body, I imagine the word recovery coming out of Him and coming into me.  If I’m envisioning the word unforgiveness, I imagine the word forgiveness and the feeling of forgiveness and the vision of the scene of where I am forgiving the person I am wanting to forgive, coming out of Him and into me.  Leaving it all at the cross where He bled and died for us.  Once you’ve imagined everything that you want to leave on the cross and give to Jesus to control and handle and have seen yourself receive the positive replacement of each thing that Jesus offers us, thank Him for everything you have received and accepted from Him.  Thank Him that He is handling everything that you’ve left on that cross and what was once His broken but Holy body.  

I pray this visualization helps you because it amazingly helps me.  I do this exercise whenever I feel I need to like when the lies of the enemy are roaming around in my mind loudly or as soon as I realize I’m feeling a certain way and that it’s affecting my mood or my attitude toward myself and/or others or my day.  It really can be used at any time we want to surrender control to God of a situation, thought, emotion, person, etc.  

Know that in this season of singleness, You are so loved.  Loved by an amazing Heavenly Father who has a plan and purpose for you and your life.  There is something precious that He wants to accomplish only through you and your life.  Trust Him and have faith that His will shall come to pass as you walk by faith and not by sight. 

8. What is the most important thing you have learned from or about God during your season of singleness? 

I have been learning so many things but the most important thing I have learned from God during my season of singleness is what my God-given purpose is. He showed me what my mission and purpose is here on earth and how to go about it.  I’m so very grateful for that.